Have you ever wondered what makes a good leader? Maybe you're wondering what it takes to be a good dog trainer? Let's go over the 2 fundamental parts of leadership and how they relate to effective dog training.
Here at the Strong Bond Dog Pack, we believe that the highest leverage point for creating change in your dog's life is going to start and end with you. A part of this journey includes you learning what it means to be an effective leader for your pack.
Below is an excerpt from our new book, The Hidden Habits of Highly Successful Pack Leaders by Alexander Canby, on the 2 fundamental parts of leadership.
Part 1 - A leader serves their pack.
One of the clearest examples of real leadership I’ve ever experienced happened while I was working as a server in a restaurant. I’d come into work feeling pretty tired and hoping for an easy night, but unfortunately the waiting room was already packed.
Given that I wasn’t feeling great as I began my shift, the tidal wave of tasks soon began to overwhelm me. I quickly began falling behind, making mistakes, and receiving complaints from the people sitting at my tables.
The general manager soon caught wind of my poor performance and began reprimanding me and cracking the metaphorical whip. The message was clear: Get your shit together and stop making mistakes or you are going to be in trouble.
This motivated me to work harder, but it didn’t exactly make me glad he was there watching my every move.
As the night went on I continued to struggle to keep my head above water. About an hour after my manager’s “pep talk” a bus boy came over to me and said, “Hey. Are you okay?”
When I told him how I was feeling and what I was struggling with, he asked, “What can I do to help?”
The difference this small gesture made in my night and in my relationship with the busboy was immense. With only fifteen minutes of help from him I started to feel like I could breathe again.
The manager used his power over my position and employment at the restaurant as leverage to motivate me to perform the way he wanted.
The busboy, who had no direct power over me, demonstrated that he actually cared about me and the restaurant’s guests with his thoughtful questions and willingness to lend a hand.
Given a choice, I would have never worked with the manager again, but I would have followed the busboy into battle.
Leadership is not, “I have all the power, therefore I get to make all the decisions and you have to do what I say.”
Real leadership is, “I’m going to use the resources I have to help you as much as I can.” Effective leaders express that they care by putting effort into supporting their pack, so that everyone on their team can be as strong and capable as possible.
A true leader does not have power because their pack members can’t stop them from taking it.
A true leader is given influence and power by their pack because they have proven themselves to be trustworthy and dependable through acts of service. Those who best serve the interests of their pack mates are given the most influence and privilege.
Part 2 - A leader goes first.
Often when I’ve been working with someone and their dog for a while, we’ll end up having a conversation that goes something like this.
Me: “How are things progressing with little Fido?”
Client: “Things have gotten so much easier! He listens when I say no. He comes when he’s called. He doesn’t bark at every random sound. It’s incredible how much he’s changed.”
Me: “That’s awesome to hear. I want to ask you something important. Now that Fido has improved in so many wonderful ways… Who changed first, you or your dog?”
Client: (Smiling as the obvious answer dawns on them.) “I did.”
Going first comes from understanding that if you want your dog to develop, then you need to develop yourself. Your communication. Your patience. Your understanding. Your motivation. Your clarity of purpose. Your trustworthiness.
Pressuring your dog to change when you’re not willing to is not leadership. It’s behavior management.
If you are standing in judgment, wishing and waiting for your dog’s behavior to improve, you’re stuck. When you place the responsibility of your pack’s well being on their shoulders, they have no one to follow. Your dog needs you to guide the way.
Going first means you must grow. Sending your dog off to be trained by someone else may help your dog learn new commands and behaviors, but it isn’t leadership. Strapping a citronella-spray collar on Batman in an attempt to keep him from barking also wasn’t leadership because I wasn’t developing myself in any meaningful capacity.
You can think about this from a human-to-human relationship perspective. If we were friends and we found ourselves in a disagreement, what would happen to our relationship if I put a shock collar around your neck and electrocuted you, every time you disagreed with me?
What if I had the power to send you away to a training camp for not being the way I wanted you to be? How would I grow as a person and learn from you as a friend if all I did was use my power to make you behave the way I wanted?
Depending on how much training and torture I put you through, you may very well end up being a perfectly well-behaved “friend”, but would you also be a true and loving friend?
When you decide to go first, the changes in you kick start your pack’s progress, because you are a member of your pack. What helps you grow as an individual, helps everyone around you. Especially your dog, who relies on you for everything.
The Next Step
Discover more about leadership and how to help your pack into a better life by reading our new book or Contact Us today to inquire about in-person training.
Click on this link to view the book on Amazon: The Hidden Habits of Highly Successful Pack Leaders.
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